Revelation 2:4 “Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love”.

We have all seen followers of Christ that have veered off course, started to follow the money and fame, or even left the faith. Something can happen to cause doubt and wandering in a Christian. Whether its the cares of this world, the money that can be had by fame, or simple a wrong turn. The losing of the first love, the fire and zeal one has for the study and preaching/teaching of Jesus and the only means of salvation, the Cross.

That was where I found myself for about the last year. I didn’t walk away or follow some money scheme.I just lost the fire and zeal of the love of Jesus the Christ. A couple years, I left the Catholic church and set out on what turned out to be a journey. I went from the Catholic church back to my Protestant roots.

I went from Roman Catholic to a local Pentecostal church, the Healing Ministries Church of God of Mountain Assembly. I had been there a few times, saw my oldest son saved and baptized there. But felt it wasn’t for me.

And I ended up being a partial Calvinist. I say partial because I could get behind all of the points of TULIP (Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, Preserving Grace). The petal of this flower I had issue with was the Calvinist view of election. I could merge this with the concept of freewill and the words “Whosoever” from verses like John 3:16 and Acts 10:43. So I knew I could no longer be a Calvinist.

Now I was at at point that I tried the Healing Ministries church again. This time it was an older pastor who had been pastor at the church before. He is an old-timey preacher. Everything in his messages leads one back to the cross. I knew people that went there and figured I need a church, so why not. Pastor Wright became a mentor to me. I suppose you could say more of a grandfather to me, although we are only 30 years apart.

But even that, after awhile, I felt like I needed to be there. So I left the board and church and found myself back in the Roman Catholic Church. I think it was more because I knew the mechanics of the faith. By mechanics, I mean the set prayers (Rosary, Magnificat), the procedure of the service (the ups, downs, kneels, etc), and the celebrations (required Holy days, the Eucharist). But after a time, I found myself being pulled to the Eastern Churches (Eastern Catholic and Eastern Orthodox). Having already determined that the Pope is the Bishop of Rome and not the prime ruler over Christendom, I became an Orthodox Catechumen in the Antiochian Church.

It still had the mechanics (although a slightly different style) and the belief were almost the same as the Roman Church. So I traded the Rosary for the Jesus Prayer, which I still recommend people to pray from time to time because it is the prayer that gives all 4 main points of a prayer and is scriptural. “Lord Jesus Christ (name and position on the faith), Son of God (who He is), Have mercy on me (what we seek), A sinner (what we are)”. But in time, I found myself praying for something more than mechanics.

I found myself prayer for the zeal and the fire I had when I gave myself to Jesus in 1996. During my prayer regime (the Orthodox call it a prayer rule), the point of prayers when the Jesus prayer is said, it is 10 prayers followed by a personal prayer. This is done 5 times for a total of 50 Jesus prayers and 5 personal prayers said in a prostate position. For those who don’t know, the prostate position is face to the ground, forehead touching the floor. A position of submission to God’s sovereignty. During the personal prayers I cried out to God to fix in me what was broken so I could have that fire for Christ and the Cross that I had decades before. It consumed me, this longing for the walk I once had. And while there were times over the decades that it would flicker, it never became full flame again.

This last week, before Sunday last, I was told that Pastor Wright was having health issues, so I decided to o to Healing Ministries so that I could check on him after service. Something in me started to make itself known, so to speak, during the sermon. Not much because of the message, although Pastor Wright always had a way preaching that makes one think the message is for them (that’s the prodding of the Holy Spirit).

Those under the umbrella of Pentecostal faith believe in healing. I also do because I have seen it in my own family. At the end of the service I walked down to see how Pastor Wright was doing. I didn’t even get to ask. I got to the point where I said how great the message was and how I felt like I belonged there (at least for that day) and that’s when things took a different turn. The floodgates opened and I found myself unable to talk.

Pastor Wright laid his hand on my shoulder and started praying. I felt a heat inside that I hadn’t felt in almost three decades. By the time he was done, a small group (including a dear friend) were at my side praying jointly with Pastor Wright. I went to check on his health and the Holy Spirit used him to heal my struggling soul.

The stories of well’s in scripture are a metaphor and symbol of the life giving water that is Jesus. “Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour. There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.)   Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water?  Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle? Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:6-14).

I found on that Sunday that sometimes, the best place for a Christian to go is back to the well. For us country folk, going back to the well means going back to the beginning. For me, this meant going back to my Protestant roots to a place and person that are so dear to me. While the fire is still starting to reignite, its no longer smoldering in ash. I had forgotten the Cross and replaced it with church mechanics. I had to be shown the thing that matters in this life. The Cross of Christ, the cleansing blood, and the empty tomb. The Cross and the cleansing blood washes away the sin and the empty tomb is the sign of hope of redemption in Christ. Something I needed reminded of.

People today expect concert style entertainment and a soft message in church. And God may use those (He is Sovereign and does as He wills). But never putdown a grandfatherly Cross/Sin/Hellfire/Need of redemption preacher in a backwoods little throwback church. Because I found that the well in those old country walls has the most refreshing Living Water of Christ one can ever drink.